I Had Two Black Bears in my Driveway Last Night

It got me thinking. Bears are just like progressives-

They Smell

Destroy Property


Shit Everywhere

They Use Bush As A Cover

Don’t Work, Sleep In The Woods

They All Look Alike

Show Up Uninvited And Never Leave

Always Pissed About Something

Often Seen With Hot Pockets Wrappers Stuck To Their Feet

Claim They’re Vegans, But Will Eat A Burger When No One Is Looking

Send Their Children Out To Commit Crimes


Females Will Schtup Anybody

They Ride Bicycles

Females Are Big Fat And Hairy

They Eat Nuts And Berries You Wouldn’t Even Look At

They’re Always Barefoot

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